Whether you can win the respect of your boss, 99% depends on yourself.

Abstract We all want to be respected in the workplace and want others to feel valued. However, respect is not given by others, but is won by others. Whether you have just started working with this leader or have been working together for many years, how do you know how to let him appreciate your work performance...
We all want to be respected in the workplace and want others to feel valued. However, respect is not given by others, but is won by others. Whether you have just started working with this leader or have been working together for many years, how do you know how to let him appreciate your work performance? What is the best way to build trust between each other? If you feel that you are not respected, what should you do?

#专家的话#
Recently, the Harvard Business Review surveyed 20,000 employees around the world and found that what employees most want to get from their bosses is respect. Linda Hill, a professor at Harvard Business School and Being the Boss: The 3Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader, said: "If you feel that you are not respected, you will not invest in your work." Genesis Consulting ( Michael Watkins, chairman of the Genesis Advisers and professor at the Lausanne School of Management in Switzerland, said that the respect of the boss can be divided into multiple levels – at the very beginning, “the boss thinks you have value, wants to keep you, wants you. Join his team, then develop to the boss that you can be competent for "interesting and challenging tasks," and finally the boss "want to invest and train your employee because he believes you have a bright future" . Be aware that it is one thing to expect to be respected, and being respected is another matter.

So, how do you win the respect of your boss?
Rule 1: Defining your own responsibility
The first step to gaining respect from your boss is to properly complete your work. Watkins said that to do this, you must "really understand what is your most important task" and understand how "how these tasks fit into your boss's day-to-day work." He suggested that when you first started a new job, you should take the initiative to ask your boss: "What do I need to learn? How can I make the fastest progress?" Then, you must try your best to "prove that you are adapting quickly to new work." If your boss sees that your ability to learn quickly is strong, you will trust you very quickly. In Hill's view, even if you have been working for a while, it is wise to periodically confirm your responsibilities. She said: "In order to make your work consistent with your boss's expectations, you must find out where your time and attention should be spent."

Rule 2: Adapt to the style of the boss
Watkins said that if you want your boss to value you and trust you, you must "find the best way to communicate with your boss. You must work hard to adjust your style to suit your boss's style." You may wish to ask your boss, what kind of communication method do he prefer, email, text message or face-to-face conversation? And how often do he want to exchange, once a week, once a day, or when there is a need to communicate? In addition, you also need to know how specific the boss wants to communicate. Does he hope that the other party will use the analysis or judgment to guide the conversation? Hill said that if you work in a way that is inconsistent with your boss's habits, such as checking an email every hour and he is checking out a lot of geniuses, then you have to "make a frank dialogue with your boss and let both parties explain." The reason behind your own behavior. "To help your boss understand your point of view and related trade-offs," because these will affect your productivity. She said, “To discuss the current situation with your boss and then decide how to continue working.”

Rule 3: Observing and understanding the boss
Hill said that in order to gain the respect of the boss, "you must understand the important considerations of the boss." She suggested that we should pay close attention to the "priority work and pressure" of the boss. These are also your priorities. You should not flatter your boss, but be considerate of your boss. Hill said, you have to remember, "Your boss is watching you at all times to see if you are trustworthy and understand your character, intentions and abilities." So, you should also carefully observe your boss so that you can figure out how to Gain his trust and "pave the way for your success." You need to know who the boss trusts, who you listen to, and who is nervous with you, so you can grasp the company's "priorities, restrictions, and political relationships." This is not to engage in corporate politics, but to "understand the political relationship of the company is very important."

Rule 4: Connect with others
Winning the respect of the boss is inseparable from winning the respect of colleagues. Watkins said, "When the boss evaluates you, he will not only rely on his own observations, but also use the feedback of others." Your boss will pay close attention to how "coordinating with the team" and how much you are with Others "establish relationships." Watkins suggested that support should be provided to colleagues to "reach a hand of friendship to them." He said that you can adopt one of the most effective questions, "Is there anything I need to help?" This will create a virtuous circle." Hill said that another valuable approach is to seek advice from others. To find the best way to build relationships with your boss. She said, "You must figure out what works and what works."

Rule 5: Express opinions privately
Hill said, "Avoiding conflict with your boss is not an effective way to win respect. The boss needs you to support him behind him, but at the same time, he must also know when he blinded his eyes and went into a misunderstanding." For example, if you think the team can't complete the project within expectations, then tell him privately and politely. Remember, don't express your objections to your boss in public, and this will make your boss feel that you are not loyal to him. Hill suggested that the relationship between you and your boss should be seen as a partnership. "If you are my partner, then you have to help me not to make mistakes." After all, "the information you are exposed to is not the same as that of your boss", it is precisely because of this that your point of view and opinion can be highlighted. value. "When you disagree, be brave enough to ask your boss."

Rule 6: Seeking feedback
No matter how good your work is, you can't force your boss to recognize your grades. Watkins said that some bosses would not do this at all. He said, "It is up to the boss's personal inclination to be able to get recognition for his work performance." However, even if your boss does not easily express his thoughts, he "publicly recognizes your achievements" and "sincerely gives feedback". There is still a difference between them. So, you may wish to ask your boss: "How is my performance? Where do I need to improve?" Watkins said that new hires often get less feedback at the beginning because he is still adapting to new jobs. Even if the boss found the fault, he was not willing to criticize it. Therefore, the newly hired employees are likely to go the wrong way from the beginning.

Rule 7: Self-reflection
Hill said, "When we feel that someone does not respect themselves, they will feel very uncomfortable. If you feel that you are being discriminated against and your boss does not accept and respect you, then this problem may only be solved by human resources." But she said, don't rush to make a final conclusion. Your boss is questioning you, maybe not because he doesn't respect you, but because "he doesn't fully understand the problem you are facing." In this case, she said, your obligation is to "guide your boss and familiarize him with the scope of your work and the difficulties you encounter." After all, not all bosses will read minds, and you have a responsibility to ensure that you can work together effectively. Watkins agrees with this statement. "You don't want to let things go to the table and yell at the boss, 'I want you to respect me.'" But he said, if you feel that you are not respected by your boss, you must ask yourself why. "I have to ask myself: Is my work performance not good enough? I am pleased with my boss? Is the line between us right?" Everything starts with yourself.

Principle of mind
you want:
• Adjust your work style and communication style to suit your boss.
• Provide support to colleagues and extend a hand of friendship. The most effective question is "Is there anything I need to help?"
• Establishing a partnership with a superior, both parties have a responsibility to ensure that they can cooperate effectively.
Please do not:
• Frustrated that your boss has not publicly approved your grades. In contrast, you need to seek feedback from your boss, such as "Where do I need to improve?"
• Ignore political relationships in the company; understand who the boss trusts, who to listen to, and who he is.
• Avoid conflicts with your boss. If you disagree, be polite and tell him privately.

Case 1: Understanding the priorities of the boss and adapting to the communication style of the boss
When Whitney McCarthy was a public relations manager at Rizepoint, a compliance management software company in Salt Lake City, she was eager to do her job and win the respect of general manager Lucy.
The first thing Whitney has to do is to figure out what her duties are. On the first day of work, Lucy left Whitney with a long note with many points explaining the six key areas of her work and the action items she had to take over immediately. Whitney said, "That note has become the guiding material for my work. Under the guidance of Lucy, I use the same six 'bucket' format to update notes every month."
In addition, Lucy also had a face-to-face meeting with Whitney and other members of the team. She said, "The purpose of this meeting is to discuss our respective areas of responsibility to eliminate any confusion about the budget or deliverables."
The second thing Whitney has to do is to get familiar with his key areas as soon as possible. This includes PR, an area where she has little experience. Whitney has a lot to learn, and she wants to prove her strength as soon as possible. So she subscribed to various newsletters about public relations, downloaded some white papers, and studied the public relations strategies of other software companies.
She said, "My goal is not to ask Lucy too many questions. Within a few weeks after taking office, I completed a press release and presented it to the CEO in the first month after taking office. A complete public relations program, through which I proved my new knowledge."
Whitney's next step is to figure out how to work with Lucy in the most effective way. Whitney asked Lucy what kind of communication method he prefers and what advice he can give on what topic. Then, Whitney did his best to adapt to Lucy's way. She said, "For something that Lucy doesn't want to be notified in real time (such as postings on social media), I will report her progress to her every week. This will let her know me better, even if she doesn't tell her the details of her work every day. Work strategy and results."
In addition to directly asking Lucy's communication style, Whitney will also consult with colleagues who have worked with Lucy for many years. "They gave me advice very helpful. For example, if you go to Lucy with a problem, then it is best to prepare your solution in advance."
Whitney believes he has won the respect of Lucy. Lucy has sent three thank-you letters to Whitney, saying that she likes to work with Whitney very much; Lucy has also approved Whitney’s full bonus; and after three months of work, Whit Nie also won the company's quarterly "Most Valuable Staff" award.

Case 2: Express your support to the boss and be willing to accept feedback
Karen Schneider is a project manager in the wine and spirits industry. She said that in order to win the respect of her boss, she always finds ways to help her boss. “My job is to make my boss's job easier. Of course, the way is to do my job well and to relieve her pressure when she is capable.”
Susan, the former boss of Karen, has a one-on-one meeting with her subordinates every week. At this time, Karen always takes the opportunity to ask Susan if he needs help to express his support. Many times, Susan really needs help. Karen said, "Even if she doesn't, she will be grateful because I am willing to help. Susan knows that I am reliable, and of course I know that I am eager to learn more."
Karen will also take the initiative to seek feedback from Susan. She said, "In the first two or three weeks of the job, I will consult her at the end of each week, even if I will ask her once a month." "In order to get results, I worked very hard, and Susan also saw my efforts. It is because of this, she will respect me more."
Susan gave Karen some constructive feedback on how to manage the project in different ways. Karen said, " Her feedback is not too harsh and not too picky, and taught me how to better handle future work."
Karen accepted Susan's feedback and included Susan's ideas while implementing the next project. “Like the praise, treat the criticism generously and openly. This is why I won the respect of Susan.”
Karen said that Susan often expressed her gratitude to her for the work on the project, and even once gave her a gift because of her excellent work. She said, "Although Susan doesn't often praise me in front of her colleagues, this more meticulous expression makes me feel more valuable."

Rebecca Knight | Rebecca Knight is a freelance journalist in Boston and a lecturer at Wesleyan University. Her work is often published in The New York Times, USA Today, and The Financial Times.
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